Secret of A Disciplined Life

Dear Lissy,
Just a quick note today to share with you what I've been learning and thinking about since the beginning of 2012.  (Ok, so it wasn't quick or a note -- more like an epistle.  Just read the bold print if you need something quick, Dearie!)

A little "life math"...

This is incredibly important!  The goal isn't discipline, but freedom.  Our first, and most important freedom is spiritual freedom from the slavery of sin.  That is the ONLY guaranteed freedom in this life, and it is only found in Jesus Christ. 

 I may work toward something like financial freedom (independence from outside income) or physical freedom (the health to enjoy any activity I choose) but I do so with the knowledge that God may change those aspects of my life at any time in order to make me more like His Son, Jesus Christ.  

Grammy and I both have neighbors for whom a car accident left them with a lifetime of physical handicaps and debt.  They still have the potential for spiritual freedom that is available to every person on earth, but they will not know physical or financial freedom this side of Heaven without a miracle.

     A specific, measurable goal (Destination)

     Written plan (Route)

 +  Wisdom (Consistently doing the next right thing)

     Discipline

The Destination

I need a goal, not a wish

We're planning to take a week's vacation to Yosemite National Park the Summer of 2015. 

not We're hoping to get out west sometime before Nate leaves for college.

I'm going to run the Turkey Trot 5k with the three of you Thanksgiving 2012.

not  We all need to get in better shape physically.

I want to finish memorizing Colossians by December 31, 2012

not I really need to memorize more scripture.

Each goal needs to be achievable and solidly within the limits God has given me.  Spending the summer of 2015 traveling through Europe and the Holy lands would be an amazing adventure, but God hasn't given us the financial resources to make that a reality.  I couldn't physically run (or even walk) the Boston Marathon next month, nor do I have the intelligence to finish memorizing Colossians by March 31.  I tend to overestimate my own awesomeness, so I often have Daddy review my goals with me for a reality check.

The Route

I need a written plan, not just a general idea

We need to save the funds, research and reserve the available transportation and accommodations, and prepare physically for the trip by hiking progressively more difficult trails in the White Mountains to be able to take a trip to Yosemite in the Summer of 2015 

not I hope we can come up with the time and money to take a trip before Nate goes to college.

Once a solid plan is in place, it's time to set a 28 day goal that makes progress toward the "big" goal.

Often this small part of the plan will be accomplished sooner. Praise the Lord for the gift of time, and set a new goal.  Don't try to set a whole string of mini-goals reaching out to the main goal with dates.  Just concentrate on the next 28 days.  Once that goal is achieved, set a new one with a 28 day time slot.

When you choose a life that is abandoned to God and available to people, 28 days is about the shortest time frame in which you will be able to accomplish anything of note.

For the Yosemite trip, I might determine that by April 13 I will have 

• opened a dedicated bank account for the trip, 
• determined the highest possible cost for the trip, 
• created a notebook to begin collecting information, 
• and made plans for an end-of-the-summer camping trip/day hike up Lafayette.

Wisdom

This, Dear heart, is a gift from your Heavenly Father.  Experience may give you the knowledge of what is the next best thing to do, and past successes and failures will motivate you to some extent, but nothing can replace the wisdom from above.  The Israelites fitted themselves for battle, but the victory was the Lord's every. single. time.  Often the goal and the plan had been directed by Him as well!  

I know that I do best with goals that have relational value.  I try to involve one or more of my family members in most of my goals because I work much harder toward relationships than I do toward abstracts.  For example, I might determine that I want to lose weight.  Instead of setting an abstract "pound" goal, I would set the goal of having matching mother-daughter dresses for Christmas because I know you'd turn inside out with joy and I also know that the largest pattern size for matching dresses is a 14/16.  I could also set the goal of reducing our refined carb intake (again, sigh) because I know that Daddy's back arthritis almost disappears when he's not eating refined carbs.  I'm carb sensitive, so I drop weight quickly when I cut the carbs.

(Drumroll, please.....DISCIPLINE)

When these three elements are solidly in place, even the most loosy-goosy gal will develop discipline.

That $100 you got for your birthday?  You'll want to chunk all (or at least part of it) toward that trip.  It's supposed to hit 90 degrees today?  You'll get a mile run in early to make your mini goal toward that 5K.  You'll install a Bible memory app on your phone or i-pad to get your memory work in during odd moments or toss in a load of laundry every night after dinner so it never falls behind.  Soon, you'll find that a disciplined life is not just easier, but also the desire of your heart.  Keep in mind that there are multi-million dollar entities and best-sellers (Financial Peace University, Weight Watchers, Julia Morgenstern) built on this simple premise:

No Plan, No Discipline

For a price they'll set a goal and give you a workable plan.  The people that utilize these methods often have tremendous success, because the company they worked in conjunction with made discipline much easier and more desirable.   You can create the same environment for discipline/success with any area of your life if you know the simple formula.

Aggh...this got long again.  Ah, well, it's stuff I need to share with you because it will probably never come up in conversation, but it's important.

 Love you "scrunches and bunches",
 Momma

P.S. - I firmly believe that discipline is about continued growth, not about achieving an ideal.  Perfection is stifling for you and those around you.  Always be growing, and  always leave space for others to grow!

Cheap Eats: Crackers 'n' Eggs

Dear Lissy,
You're lying pale and weak on the couch by the stove, exhausted from over 12 hours with a nasty stomach bug.  Daddy was up with you all night and is feeling low, too.  Eight years of solo duty on diapers is definitely paying off!  I feel a smidge guilty when you kids get the stomach flu, but a deal's a deal.  I've got you on the usual: ginger tea, dilute apple juice, chicken broth, and popsicles.  For the rest of us hale and hardy folks, I'm trying to make quick meals.  Crackers 'n' Eggs is an easy, hearty meal that adapts to any time of day.  The taste is bland like french toast, but the texture is as firm and chewy.

Crackers 'n' Eggs

from The Cracker Barrel:  Old Fashioned Country Cooking

2 eggs

1 cup milk

4 oz Saltines ( We prefer unsalted)

2 Tbsp butter

In a medium bowl, whisk eggs and milk together.  Crumble crackers into the egg mixture and stir gently.  The batter will be lumpy.  Heat a large non-stick skillet over medium heat and melt the butter.  Pour in the egg and cracker mixture and cook, covered, for about 5 minutes.  The bottom should be golden brown and the "pancake" quite firm.  Flip and cook for another 5 minutes until done (golden brown on the bottom, and completely firm.  Cut into four wedges and serve with maple syrup or jam.

Mom's Notes

•  Add a little cinnamon and vanilla for French Toast Pancakes
• Top with orange marmalade and whipped cream for teatime
• Add chopped sausage, ham, or bacon and top with cheese for a heartier breakfast.
• Add herbes de provence to the egg mixture, and saute a quick veggie mix (zucchini, onions, and mushrooms is a favorite) to top a wedge.
• Spread with apple butter, top with baby spinach and chopped bacon
• Top with marinara and cheese and run it under the broiler for "pizzas"
• Spread with fig preserves and top with prosciutto, provolone, and baby greens
• Top with shredded chicken or taco meat, salsa, sour cream, black olives, shredded lettuce, and grated cheese for a Mexican style meal.
• Top with 50/50 sour cream & mayo, dill, and cucumber slices for an afternoon treat.  Add a bit of salmon or tuna to turn it into a meal.

I can still buy saltine style crackers for 88 cents a box at our local Wal-Mart, so this meal is as low cost as any I make.  I'm making myself another cup of green tea with grapefruit seed oil to try to avoid this round of illness.  Hopefully you'll be back to your sparkly self by tomorrow!

Loving my sick little bug,

Momma

Lessons We've Learned From a Month of Hard Work (Part 2)

Dear Lissy,
We're in the midst of a two day snowstorm. . .our first real snowfall this winter!  I must admit it was a little sad seeing my sweet snowdrops get buried, but they'll survive, I'm sure.  I wanted to finish up the lessons we've learned from redeeming our time in the afternoons.  We've spent 28 days (give or take) going through room by room and thinning out and re-organizing our belongings.

Working together toward a common goal is good for both a family's esprit de corp and personal happiness
I had no doubt that the three of you would obey and work hard during our blitz month.  I didn't expect you to get so "into" it, though.  The four of us have a real sense of accomplishment and unity after working together for a month.  During the last four weeks, you kids have taken ownership of our home.  You've each had blitz zones in addition to your bedrooms to keep up with each day.  A special bonus?  Dad was inspired by all our hard work and punched out several maintenance projects, too.
We've been happier and more content during a dark, cold, snowless month than we normally are even during the summer.  Having a purpose and a goal and working for it together brightened each of us up tremendously during a difficult time of year.

Take the time to clearly state (or even better, write down) what is expected, and then take the time to look at what each person has accomplished at the end of the day.
"Clean your room" has entirely different meaning to a 14 year old than it does to a 40 year old.  Taking the time to write measurable tasks like "Make the bed", "Empty the trash", and "Place all books neatly in the bookcase" is important.  Always express your expectations clearly and make sure your child understands.
We also all long to share our accomplishments and successes.  When a job isn't followed up, it probably will be done half-heartedly or not at all.  I took the time each day to look at what you'd done, praise you, and give any further instruction on the area that was necessary to finish the job well.  It's important as a home manager to inspect what you expect.


Stuff = Time, Clutter = Procrastination
This came as a big surprise.  It takes a lot of time and effort to keep up with stuff.  It takes far more time both to pick up and to actually clean.  Our entire house can be picked up in just a few minutes now.  I can clean through in about 90 minutes.
Clutter is simply a monument to your procrastination.
"Don't put it down, put it AWAY!" has become our war cry.  Maybe families that don't educate at home don't have as much trouble with this as we do, but when you've got four people in the house all day, every day, it can get messy fast.  Chop up one week of busy schedule, stir in a week of head colds, add in a few sewing, electronics, and lapbooking projects, and you have a recipe for disaster.  Double the recipe if you've got too much stuff to actually put everything away.

Aim for excellence, not perfection
My ultimate goal was to go through every room in the house, get rid of extraneous stuff, and re-organize what remained to reflect how we actually used the room. There are a handful of cupboards and drawers that I set up about five years ago that didn't need to be re-organized, but still need a thinning.  I don't have perfection, but the house is in excellent shape.
I also had to let a lot of deep cleaning and maintenance I would have dearly loved to do go by the wayside.  I would never have met my goal of having the entire house simplified and re-organized if I had added deep cleaning and maintenance projects into the mix.  There will be time for deep cleaning after school and  mud season are over!  Michael J. Fox, and actor of my generation summed it up beautifully when he said: "I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection.  Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God's business."  You can completely stress yourself and your relationships by insisting on perfection beyond excellence.

There is a difference between easy-simple and bare-simple
A bare home with no curtains, decor, or visible belongings would be very easy to maintain.  We weren't striving to redecorate our home to Danish modern, but to make it more functional and easier to maintain.

• Each room has a purpose or is zoned into areas with a specific purpose.
• We thinned our belongings to reflect what we actually need and use on a regular basis.  If two or more functional items served a similar purpose, we only kept one.
• Our belongings each have a specific home where they should be put away.  If we obtain more, it either has to fit in the designated spot or something else has to go.
• We no longer have overflow storage in baskets, tote bags, Rubbermaid containers, and boxes.  Everything is stored in closets, drawers, and cupboards or placed on shelves or hooks.  Extra items we wanted to keep but don't need for daily living (fabric, books, holiday & seasonal items) are all in labeled totes in the attic.
• I downsized purely decorative items to include mostly those of higher quality or special sentimental value.  
• We have a plan for restoring our home to order on a daily basis as well as a few simple rules to keep it neat as we go.
• Switching to Mrs. F's laundry method allowed us to drastically downsize our wardrobes and streamline our laundry area. 

I still have a few drawers and cabinets to thin out, and we'll blitz the yard and garage later this year, but we've already noticed a huge difference in the spirit of our family.  A well managed home where there's room to learn, play, make a mess, and enjoy each other and friends is a gift.  I hope it's a gift that I will pass down to each of the three of you as you begin your own homes some day.

Much love for all your help and joyful spirit,

Mom

 Love, Momma

One Quick Tip: Label Your Leftovers

Dear Lissy,
Label, date, and store leftovers on the same shelf to make sure they all get eaten up!

Labeling is standard in the restaurant industry, and works like a charm at home, too.

Love,
 Momma