Tween Transitions

Dear Lissy,

It's hard to believe my little toddlers are all tweens and teens!  The old saw, "the days crawl by, but the years fly by" has certainly been true in our lives.  Parenting tweens and teens is a challenge I've looked forward to for many years.   I'll use the verse from Luke, " And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man." as my outline for our thoughts on parenting through the tween and teen years.  This letter is bittersweet for me, because I will most likely be home in Heaven by the time you need these words.

Spirit-Led Parenting

Dear Lissy,

Once again a book is making the rounds of the internet that claims to be God's way to parent your baby.  Young, bleary-eyed mommas are so vulnerable to these ideas that it breaks my heart.

God never intended a book or your peers to provide wisdom for navigating the trails of parenting.  

Call me, or your aunt Debi, or find a godly older woman in your local church who has already finished raising her family to help you.  They may recommend a book as a tool once they know you and your situation, but the Holy Spirit has already revealed how He intends for you to learn to parent in Titus 2:3-5

"The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."

I sent you an annotated bibliography about a year ago that contained some books that we've consulted during our parenting years.  All of these were written by couples or individuals that had finished raising their families and had adult children who loved the Lord.  These resources were always second to the Word of God and godly older couples in our own church.

This is such a serious letter I'll end with a funny story from your baby years.
You were a fairly happy baby, but I felt like I was constantly short-changing your brothers because I could no longer play with them like I once did.  As I sadly related this to an elderly woman in my church, she laughed and looked at me like I had three eyes.
"Honey", she said, "in my day we had so much work to do and so many kids we gave them a sheet and an ironing board and told them we didn't want to see them again until lunch.  Family time was always after dinner was cleaned up at night.  Your boys just need some time to play and explore on their own."
That was some of the best advice I've ever received.  She was able to share that advice because she knew me and knew my children.   She had spent time in our home and knew their play areas were secure.  That same advice could have been disastrous for another mom with kids exactly the same ages.
My friends were advising me to "let the house go" and just enjoy my kids.  The parenting magazines (our equivalent of blog posts) were filled with crafts, games, units, and encouragement to take an active role in every moment of my pre-schoolers lives.  Only the "aged woman" that God had placed in my church family gave me the perspective and advice I needed.

Spirit-led parenting?  It's claiming the grace to obey God's plan as revealed in His Word by faith.  

Love, 
Momma

Parenting Principle #1

6 Outstanding Resources for Committed Parenting

Dear Lissy,
April showers....and not much else!  All of you are stir crazy enough to be spending time outdoors in the rain.  The neighbor donated several tons of dirt from his yard project yesterday, and you and Matt played "Battleship" on it all afternoon.  I'm almost sad we have to level it.  The rest of our spring veggies will be going in this week with hoop houses up to keep them protected.  We've let the coal stove burn out, too.  Cross my fingers, I think spring has finally arrived.
I won't be writing a great deal about our child rearing philosophy or practices in these letters because the vast majority is contained in our library, and I'd prefer to leave you an annotated bibliography.

An Eric Guiomar creation. 

Are We Having Fun Yet?

Dear Lissy,
Last night Pastor Joe opened his sermon with a question to get us all thinking:  What's the difference between fun and joy?  I've been meditating on the fruit of the Spirit off and on for almost 2 years, and I've always contrasted happiness and joy in my thought processes.  Well, that one question sent my head spinning off in a hundred directions and I'm afraid I didn't listen as well as I should have because I was so excited.  Good thing I always take notes!