Secret of A Disciplined Life

Dear Lissy,
Just a quick note today to share with you what I've been learning and thinking about since the beginning of 2012.  (Ok, so it wasn't quick or a note -- more like an epistle.  Just read the bold print if you need something quick, Dearie!)

A little "life math"...

This is incredibly important!  The goal isn't discipline, but freedom.  Our first, and most important freedom is spiritual freedom from the slavery of sin.  That is the ONLY guaranteed freedom in this life, and it is only found in Jesus Christ. 

 I may work toward something like financial freedom (independence from outside income) or physical freedom (the health to enjoy any activity I choose) but I do so with the knowledge that God may change those aspects of my life at any time in order to make me more like His Son, Jesus Christ.  

Grammy and I both have neighbors for whom a car accident left them with a lifetime of physical handicaps and debt.  They still have the potential for spiritual freedom that is available to every person on earth, but they will not know physical or financial freedom this side of Heaven without a miracle.

     A specific, measurable goal (Destination)

     Written plan (Route)

 +  Wisdom (Consistently doing the next right thing)

     Discipline

The Destination

I need a goal, not a wish

We're planning to take a week's vacation to Yosemite National Park the Summer of 2015. 

not We're hoping to get out west sometime before Nate leaves for college.

I'm going to run the Turkey Trot 5k with the three of you Thanksgiving 2012.

not  We all need to get in better shape physically.

I want to finish memorizing Colossians by December 31, 2012

not I really need to memorize more scripture.

Each goal needs to be achievable and solidly within the limits God has given me.  Spending the summer of 2015 traveling through Europe and the Holy lands would be an amazing adventure, but God hasn't given us the financial resources to make that a reality.  I couldn't physically run (or even walk) the Boston Marathon next month, nor do I have the intelligence to finish memorizing Colossians by March 31.  I tend to overestimate my own awesomeness, so I often have Daddy review my goals with me for a reality check.

The Route

I need a written plan, not just a general idea

We need to save the funds, research and reserve the available transportation and accommodations, and prepare physically for the trip by hiking progressively more difficult trails in the White Mountains to be able to take a trip to Yosemite in the Summer of 2015 

not I hope we can come up with the time and money to take a trip before Nate goes to college.

Once a solid plan is in place, it's time to set a 28 day goal that makes progress toward the "big" goal.

Often this small part of the plan will be accomplished sooner. Praise the Lord for the gift of time, and set a new goal.  Don't try to set a whole string of mini-goals reaching out to the main goal with dates.  Just concentrate on the next 28 days.  Once that goal is achieved, set a new one with a 28 day time slot.

When you choose a life that is abandoned to God and available to people, 28 days is about the shortest time frame in which you will be able to accomplish anything of note.

For the Yosemite trip, I might determine that by April 13 I will have 

• opened a dedicated bank account for the trip, 
• determined the highest possible cost for the trip, 
• created a notebook to begin collecting information, 
• and made plans for an end-of-the-summer camping trip/day hike up Lafayette.

Wisdom

This, Dear heart, is a gift from your Heavenly Father.  Experience may give you the knowledge of what is the next best thing to do, and past successes and failures will motivate you to some extent, but nothing can replace the wisdom from above.  The Israelites fitted themselves for battle, but the victory was the Lord's every. single. time.  Often the goal and the plan had been directed by Him as well!  

I know that I do best with goals that have relational value.  I try to involve one or more of my family members in most of my goals because I work much harder toward relationships than I do toward abstracts.  For example, I might determine that I want to lose weight.  Instead of setting an abstract "pound" goal, I would set the goal of having matching mother-daughter dresses for Christmas because I know you'd turn inside out with joy and I also know that the largest pattern size for matching dresses is a 14/16.  I could also set the goal of reducing our refined carb intake (again, sigh) because I know that Daddy's back arthritis almost disappears when he's not eating refined carbs.  I'm carb sensitive, so I drop weight quickly when I cut the carbs.

(Drumroll, please.....DISCIPLINE)

When these three elements are solidly in place, even the most loosy-goosy gal will develop discipline.

That $100 you got for your birthday?  You'll want to chunk all (or at least part of it) toward that trip.  It's supposed to hit 90 degrees today?  You'll get a mile run in early to make your mini goal toward that 5K.  You'll install a Bible memory app on your phone or i-pad to get your memory work in during odd moments or toss in a load of laundry every night after dinner so it never falls behind.  Soon, you'll find that a disciplined life is not just easier, but also the desire of your heart.  Keep in mind that there are multi-million dollar entities and best-sellers (Financial Peace University, Weight Watchers, Julia Morgenstern) built on this simple premise:

No Plan, No Discipline

For a price they'll set a goal and give you a workable plan.  The people that utilize these methods often have tremendous success, because the company they worked in conjunction with made discipline much easier and more desirable.   You can create the same environment for discipline/success with any area of your life if you know the simple formula.

Aggh...this got long again.  Ah, well, it's stuff I need to share with you because it will probably never come up in conversation, but it's important.

 Love you "scrunches and bunches",
 Momma

P.S. - I firmly believe that discipline is about continued growth, not about achieving an ideal.  Perfection is stifling for you and those around you.  Always be growing, and  always leave space for others to grow!

Cash for the Merchandise!

Dear Lissy,
I have a degree in Secondary Mathematics Education.  I grew up in the home of a CPA and financial counselor.  You would think that making and adhering to a budget would be as natural as breathing.  It isn't.  I have a fatal flaw in my brain wiring that doesn't allow me to comprehend electronic debits and credits.  If I'm not dealing in cold hard cash, I fall flat.

Here are a few basic principles for keeping on a cash budget.

Take No Thought: A Family Financial System Built On Trust In God

Dear Lissy,

Happy New Year, Baby Girl!  Our New Year's day was very low key because Daddy and I just spent the weekend celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary.  I spent an hour or so pulling all the 2012 bill stubs and tax receipts and setting up The Box for 2013.  It feels so good to have everything ready for tax season in advance.

I mentioned last week that I've avoided late bills by putting the company and amount due on the calendar.  I realized yesterday as I filed a handful of bills (that had already been paid a month ago) from the "To Be Paid" into their respective folders that I no longer need a "To Be Paid" folder.   This has been a major source of stress and worry for me in the past. I would dread going through bills trying to "make ends meet," often putting the inevitable off until bills were overdue and had to be paid. 

While Dad has been starting up his business, though, I've only been able to get "partner draws" (paychecks) for our weekly needs, and sometimes even day by day.  While just the thought of that would have sent me into a tailspin a couple of years ago, it's brought incredible freedom from worry as the Lord has worked on my heart.

By taking all control out of my hands, God brought me to a place of absolute trust regarding finances. 

 I want to keep that child-like faith as the business continues to grow, so we've changed our game plan a bit.

Here's the new system. . .

1. Receive bill via mail or e-mail (print).
2. Jot the company and amount onto the due date on the calendar.
3. File the bill in it's yearly folder.  Keeping track of yearly budgeting categories is a crucial part of good stewardship and necessary for taxes for us.  
4. Each Desk Day, use the calendar to total the amount needed for bills for the week.
5. Estimate expenditures for personal, vehicle, and household needs and record.  Keep record in purse for easy reference on Errand Day.
6. Request draw from business or transfer the amount needed for bills & expenses from savings to checking*.  
7. Pay any bills due that are not auto-debited, and cross them off the calendar.  
8. Record cash/debit purchases in a spending notebook and match to estimated amounts.  

*We have a variable income, so all income is deposited into savings, and only the amount needed for the week is transferred to checking.  In the past we deposited all income into checking, and then transferred to savings and investments.  We chose this method because:

• Automatically saves for periodic expenses like the water bill, vehicle repairs/replacement, and life insurance.
• Provides a buffer for "dry" weeks.  
• Forces me to plan for the week's expenses from hair cuts to electric bills.  I do not have the ability to spend on impulse.  Very often we'll have a single draw that  has to last several weeks. When my checking account balance is flush with cash, it's hard not to think of a hundred things we "need" and spend too much.
• Protects us from debit card theft.  We had a nasty experience a couple of years ago that left us quite shy about keeping a large balance in an account tied to our debit card number. 
• Once the balance in the savings account reaches a pre-determined limit, the extra is invested into CD's or other long term savings (car replacement, college, retirement, etc).  We haven't reached that point yet, but I'm hoping to hit that milestone this year.

Three years ago, I couldn't have done this.  It "feels" like too much work!  In reality, when I had to do it for a couple of years, I realized that this level of discipline brings extraordinary freedom.  I can confidently go to my Heavenly Father for every need, and even wants, knowing that I've faithfully stewarded every cent He's given me.  When I tell Daddy I need $ for a week, I don't fear his reaction because I know that's how much I really need and that I can faithfully account for every cent he's given me so far.  (Daddy's reactions, as you well know, never, ever include anger.  He's the most patient man I know by a long shot.  I did, however, fear disappointing him.)

This system was not born from my Extreme Awesomeness -- quite the contrary.  It was a measure of desperation brought on by circumstances after I prayed for victory in this area.  Once again, it is all of Him.

Daddy used to preach all the time about how God answers our prayers in unusual ways.  Praying for patience?  Batten down the hatches for trials galore.  Praying for victory in the area of financial stewardship and worry?  God may choose to teach you that by bringing you to the point where you don't know day by day where your next dollar is coming from.  He knows that godliness with contentment is far more important -- and lasting -- than a thriving business or good job.  We still have some kinks to iron out of our financial system.  It's hard, hard, hard to live on a variable income.  Thankfully I have some godly friends who have traveled this road before me in this area that I can look to for advice and encouragement.  I've written you letters before about the importance of using a cash system for variable expenses, and with the lessons I've learned during the 18 months since that letter, I can confidently say: if you faithfully steward your finances as a tool from God, they will not replace God in your heart.  

You are of great worth, Dear Heart,

Momma

One Quick Tip: Basic Body Stewardship

Dear Lissy,


:Every 24 Hours: 

30 Minutes Brisk Walk 

+

12 Consecutive Hours Fasting 

(usually from after dinner to breakfast the following day)

+

        7-8 Hours Sleep       

= Basic Good Health

Nope, these habits won't undo a 6 hour a day screen habit, decaying teeth, or a 4000 calorie diet, BUT they will give you a shot of discipline that helps you tackle the underlying spiritual and emotional problems that caused the screen and sugar habit.

These three changes won't turn you into an athlete or reduce your age by 10 years, either.  They are BASIC MAINTENANCE.  At some point in your life you'll probably want to add in strength, stamina, balance, and flexibility exercises.  Optimal nutrition for your body can dramatically change your energy and immunity levels, too.  The hundreds of tweaks available to your health and fitness do add up, but they don't make much difference if you aren't taking care of the basics first.

As believers, we have a responsibility to steward our body.  God may ask more of us than these simple disciplines entail, but he will not ask less while we have the freedom to perform them.  If He chooses to place us where we cannot accomplish basic maintenance tasks for our bodies, He will also give the grace to accept the limitations.

 Love you to the moon and back,
 Momma

P.S.  Some basic sources for the three parts of the equation.  Most Americans are woefully undereducated on fasting.  Because fasting doesn't create income for pharmas or food companies, it gets swept out of the way as hoo-hoo witchdoctor level medicine.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  If I had to pick just one consistent health practice for the rest of my life it would be fasting.  I've successfully treated hypertension, fibroid tumors, sciatica and cubital tunnel syndrome, and even a systemic yeast infection with fasting.  Very few people would debate the benefits of a 30 minute daily walk, but most wouldn't think it was "enough."  Sleep -- well, we all pretty much know how much we need to function, but that doesn't mean we make it a priority ever night like we should.

12 Hour Eating/Fasting cycle, also referred to as intermittent fasting or eating window. Dozens of variations exist, from an 18/6 to a 12/5/5.  Extended  mutli-day fasts can heal issues that even our current pharmas and surgery cannot.  A 12 hour window is the minimum fast that had measurable results.  The No S diet we followed all through your adolescent years is a variation on the 12/5/5.
New York Times
Mercola
Healthy Living


30 Minute Walk
Tesco: 10 Health Benefits of a Daily Walk
Mark's Daily Apple  Mark is known for extreme fitness, but still recommends walking (and fasting...)
Everyday Health
American Heart Association:  Walking briskly provides the same benefits as running.

7-8 Hours Sleep
Ironically, this was the most heavily debated of the basic maintenance tasks when I wrote this.  Every source agreed on at least a 12 hour fasting window and a minimum of 30 minutes of brisk walking, but sleep times varied greatly.  Best current advice?  Go to bed at a time that allows you to wake naturally without an alarm.  Newer research even indicates sleeping a split shift might be healthier.
Wall Street Journal
Today

Lessons We've Learned From a Month of Hard Work (Part 1)

Dear Lissy,
Late in January we decided to re-organize and simplify our home.  The upkeep was overwhelming, and all of my organizational systems were designed for a home full of toddlers, not teenagers.  After a string of construction projects upended nearly every room in the house, we were all ready to tear our hair out.

I decided as part of my One Golden Day goal to redeem the afternoons.  I had fallen into the sloppy habit of using afternoons as "me" time instead of working.  I enlisted all three of you and we started cranking every weekday afternoon from 1-4 p.m.  Here's what we've learned. . .

There is ALWAYS a valid reason why you can't work
A string of valid problems -- the never-ending sinus infection, a leaky ceiling in the sewing area, a broken foot, ministry demands, and a hundred other less worthy excuses --  meant that a lot of the normal work that needs to be done to keep a family running smoothly had been left undone during the past couple of years.  During this 28 day blitz I worked through with a head cold, a demanding school schedule,  the winter round of doctor/dentist/orthodontist/optometrist appointments, additional ministry responsibilities, and a bunch of drop-in company.  The most important lesson of this month for me:  You make time for what's important to you!


Less is More
We've gotten rid of so. much. stuff.  I've ousted furniture, toys, books, clothing, knick-knacks and artwork, kitchen gadgets & appliances, linens, and serviceware.  Our newly streamlined house has a spaciousness that puts us all in a place of grace.  Deep peace and power accompany simplicity.  There is also an insane desire to redecorate -- I'm hoping that will pass.

In All Labor There Is Profit
I tend to be hyper-organized and knew that 2011's "Just Do It" philosophy was going to be important for this project.  Each day I chose a few places to hit, and at the end of the month, every room was simplified & organized.  Because we all pitched in and worked hard, the job got done.  It got done a bit haphazardly, but it was done before our finish date.  In the past I would have spent hours making checklists, and detailed to-do lists for each person.  Good ol' fashioned, callous-making, backbone-breaking work got the job done just fine.  The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.

Starting is The Hardest Part
There was more than one time during the past few weeks your Dad kissed me on the forehead and demanded I stop working and go to bed.  Once I get started, I'm the Energizer Bunny.  But, oh, the getting started nearly kills me every day.  The accountability I had to the three of you to keep up with the plan was often the only thing that got the ball rolling.
I got especially overwhelmed by areas that needed a lot of work rather than a quick re-do.  Often I would have one of you pull everything out of a squirrel's nest, sort it into categories, and wipe down the containers and area you had just emptied.  I'd come through once you were done, purge out everything we didn't need, and replace the rest into the newly-cleaned area.  Splitting up the job that way made it much easier for all of us.  The old saw is true:  Well begun is half done.

It's Far Easier Keeping An Area Tidy Than Getting It Tidy
Each day we went back through the areas we had already blitzed and made sure they were still neat and organized.  When an area that we had organized wasn't working, we changed it so it would.  By the end of the second week, it was taking us 15 minutes to get the whole house looking its best.  Now the four of us can have everything spifferoo in 5 minutes if we keep up with our regular mealtime and laundry routines.  It will always be a lot of work to keep our 130 year old home clean, but we've made it easy-peasy to keep it clutter free.  We've all learned during the past month that it's easier to keep up than to catch up.


We've been richly enjoying the freedom that comes with discipline, the joy that accompanies obedience, and the wisdom that comes with doing what you know to be right.  I wish the systems I set up when we moved here 12 years ago had still been humming along nicely so that we didn't have to do a big overhaul, but I'm glad you've been part of the process and learned how to simplify and organize.  It will continue to be a process of growth for us in the weeks and months to come, I'm sure.  I have several more lessons I'll send you in another letter.


Simply loving little you!
Mom