17 October 2013

God's Gift of Intimacy in Marriage

Dear Lissy,

Marital intimacy is a sensitive and beautiful topic.  I'm not willing to put information like this out on the web or expose an area of our own marriage that is sacred to me. And let's face it, this is a pretty awkward topic for a mom and daughter to discuss.  However, intimacy is an important part of life as a married woman, and one that deserves careful thought.  Two books (by the same authors) top my list for this topic. Both books are the result of inductive Bible study, not simply tacking verses onto the authors' own ideas.   Dillow and Pintus speak in a warm, friendly tone throughout both books, and dose their advice liberally with a sense of humor and personal examples.  The books are just plain fun to read.

Intimate Issues is authored by and written specifically to women.  I recommend Intimate Issues as a study before marriage, and then as a resource once you are married.  The chapters deal with twenty one common areas including. . .
  • Can I be godly and sensuous?  
  • Intimacy when you have littles that are draining your batteries.  
  • Body image and intimacy
  • Help for when you're no longer in love or caught in an emotional affair with another man.
  • How to avoid boredom and inspire passion
I've used this book in counseling as much as personally over the years. Intimate Issues is a great resource for a godly girl who has worked very hard to keep herself pure until marriage, and is nervous about transitioning to a role where sensuality is expected.  Their "Gourmet Delight" Couple's Night In plan at the end of the book is fun and a little bit cheesy, but easily transformed to suit your own style.  I doubt too many husbands are going to complain about an evening of great food and intimacy.

Intimacy Ignited: Conversations Couple to Couple: Fire Up Your Sex Life with the Song of Solomon is written by and for couples and can be used as a (very steamy) Bible study.  Intimacy Ignited is appropriate for any stage of marriage from newlyweds to empty nesters rediscovering their bond.  Problems that may interfere with intimacy such as abuse and p*rn are not addressed in this book.   Like Intimate Issues, be prepared for warmth, humor, and a whole lot of inspiration to thoroughly enjoy God's gift of intimacy.

While hundreds of books have been written on this topic, these are far and away my favorites.  Far too often physical intimacy is rejected or neglected by wives, and we are the losers every bit as much as our husbands.  Intimate Issues and Intimacy Ignited will help you keep the flame burning brightly throughout your married life. 

Much love,

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